After my post last week in which I let it all hang out – the truth about my messy life, replete with frustrations, stagnation, uncertainty and feeling inauthentic at times because of the image I thought I had to present to the world versus my reality, I got some feedback. On Facebook, on my blog, in person at networking functions, on the phone and through private email, I got feedback. I am so grateful for those of you who took the time to reach out to me, and those of you, as well, who silently sent me good vibes.
Working ‘virtually’ as I do from my home office, I spend much of my time alone. While technology allows me to know who is opening up the emails I craft, I have wondered occasionally if the little love notes I send (which is how I truly feel about them) are read, and if they are helpful. So thank-you also for the gift of letting me know that you do read them. While it was never my intention to solicit love and support from you when I bore my soul, I received it in buckets. You all helped to fill me up last week, and I didn’t realize how much I needed that. Thank-you, again.
Where do we go from here? Well, judging from what you all shared with me last week, I think you’ll probably be open to learning what I learn as I’m on this journey of rebuilding. (I feel a little like the Bionic Woman as I type this: better than I was before; better, stronger, faster…) LOL. Actually, I’ve learned that my journey is not about being Wonder Woman, or the Bionic Woman, or any other kind of Super-Woman. It’s about becoming more fully me. We’ll call that lesson #1, and I’m sure we will revisit it often.
But another very powerful lesson I received after getting naked in front of you was that we all truly see the world through our own experiences and filters: some of you, having read my angst, described your own experience with depression and were quite concerned about my mental wellness. If you were, too, please know that I am not clinically depressed. I was sad, but not depressed. My daughter accuses me of hyperbole (I was going to write ‘all the time’ but that would be more hyperbole!) Regardless, if my colourful use of language and imagery made you worry for me, please know that it’s not necessary. When I wrote that I had a ‘break-down,’ I was not describing a clinical diagnosis – but more of a spiritual one. The walls had to come down before the light could get in.
While some of you may have worried about my mental health, others were quite defensive on my behalf, and you focused your feedback on the person whose shouting had been the proverbial straw that broke me. Please know that my story was never meant to be about the other person. I did not for a second have any anger, frustration or resentment for the ‘trigger’ that gave me the opportunity to ‘let go.’ There was no insult or personal attack in the conversation, and no reason for me to be angry or hurt. By the way, we have since had several quiet, peaceful interactions, and this person has no idea how that fateful conversation changed me. I am honestly grateful for the whole mess.
And while there was concern and protection, there was also gratitude. So many of you let me know that me getting naked was helpful for you, too. You let me know that you recognized a little bit of yourself in what I was sharing. Hopefully, you can learn from my experience so you don’t have to repeat it yourself. In other words: stop trying to be some idealized version of perfect, because you’ll never achieve it. Remember, instead, that how you are right now is exactly how you are supposed to be right now, or you wouldn’t be as you right now. That is perfection. Does that mean you don’t have to grow and change and become the best version of yourself? Absolutely not. Instead, it means that You are perfect right now. And getting better all the time. You can quote me on that.
Going forward, in my work as a nutritionist and health coach – as well as in my personal relationships with those around me – I will remember that people see the world through their own filters, and their feedback and reactions to situations have nothing to do with me, and everything to do with their perspective. It certainly will de-personalize situations that might get heated or uncomfortable.
As always, my sweet, I’d love to know your thoughts!
Until next time, I wish you vibrant health and a beautiful day,