I arrived at the Two Bridges and Chapel Falls Trail in the town of Ashfield, MA, feeling a little apprehensive. I wasn't familiar with the trail, but that wasn't what bothered me. I had never gone rucking before, and that's what I had signed up for this August morning.
The night before, I had reviewed the instructions from Andrea Bailey, creator of TheraRuck™, a nature experience that combines weighted movement with mindfulness and reflection. Her note said that the decision for how much weight to carry was totally up to me. I carefully weighed out about 10 pounds of books to carry along with my snacks and water. I wasn't sure what the day would hold and, in a world of Type As, I am very solidly a Type B.
I expected a challenging day of hiking. I didn't expect that, by the end of the morning, I'd be reconsidering a problem I'd spent months trying to resolve—and wondering whether it was something I needed to keep carrying at all.
Meeting Andrea Bailey
Meeting Bailey immediately put me at ease. She is as nice as she looks and quick with a warm hug.
Appealing to my inner dork, she had me pick out a notebook for our two hours together, fun stickers to decorate said notebook, and a special rock. For reasons unknown to me, especially because of my aforementioned Type B nature, I chose a rock with the word "challenge" on it.
Bailey combined her experience in mental health, functional fitness, and mindfulness-based ecotherapy to create her TheraRuck program. It draws on the best techniques she's encountered and can help support nervous system regulation and overall well-being. Not surprisingly, the majority of her clients are first responders and former military personnel. But as I was to find out, the program can help anyone who identifies as a human being stuck in a rut.
Tuning In
One of the first things Bailey had me do was close my eyes and focus on where I was and how I was feeling. I self-consciously stood there listening to the river that flowed by the trail. I noticed the breeze on my skin. Even though there was no way to get this wrong, I wondered if I was. The activity probably took two minutes but felt more like 20. I was relieved when she told me to open my eyes.
As we hiked on, I became more confident. I was carrying the weight no problem, I was into the nature thing, my inner monologue was slowing. The healing power of TheraRucking was really happening, I thought.
Then we came to one of the bridges that Two Bridges Trail is named for. Bailey seemed excited. She had me cross to the middle of the bridge, stand with my back to the railing, close my eyes and sink into what's called a wall sit.
So I sat there in my imaginary chair, aware of my quads and core muscles. I felt sure that Bailey, such a nice person, would soon tell me to stand. But she had me hold it. And then keep holding it. Then hold it some more.
I can see from this photo that I was smiling as I did the exercise, but this does not accurately reflect my feelings.
My legs shook furiously. Bailey mentioned that I might start to feel uncomfortable. "Start?!" I thought. Exactly how long would I have to hold this position?
Panic set in. My brain was alarmed that this was happening to me. The experience felt exceedingly dangerous even though I knew that the worst thing that could happen would be that my legs would give out and I'd land on the planks beneath me. At 5'2" and in a squat position, I didn't have far to go.
As the tension continued, I noticed my body felt more like a steady R2-D2 compared to my nervous C-3PO brain. The body held no judgement about this experience other than it seemed determined to hold the position long after the brain thought I couldn't. When Bailey finally called it, I was relieved it was over but also a little shaken over how fearfully my brain had reacted.
We talked about it a little. I mentioned my sister, a Type A personality. I imagined how differently she would have responded to the exercise. My sister's basic philosophy is "no one defines my limitations" and "I'll show you" if anyone tries to do so. Bailey reminded me that I could have also given myself permission to break the hold at any time; no one was forcing me to continue. Oh. Right.
TheraRucking was teaching me something useful. It occurred to me that, in embracing more physical challenges, my body could teach my brain a thing or two, like I was capable of more than I thought, and I could decide what my limits were.
Hugging Trees
I don't want to give away all of Bailey's techniques for helping people notice their stuck patterns to hopefully shift them a little, but I will admit that I spent some time hugging a particular tree I grew quite fond of.
Toward the end of the ruck, Bailey invited me to wriggle out of my pack and lie on a fallen log and stare at the sky. For all my recreational hiking and staring at New England vistas, I had never taken the time to get a view like this, an intricate network of green leaves against a blue sky.
Bailey had me stay in that position for what seemed like an eternity. At a certain point, I stopped mentally fretting over how long I would be there. My need for control loosened its grip, and my brain started to wander.
A problem that had been haunting me all year came to mind. It was a complicated issue I couldn't figure out how to fix and explain to people. Suddenly, an answer came to me that the situation didn't need be resolved. That, in fact, I couldn't resolve it.
Not to put too fine a point on it, but I realized I didn't have to pick that heavy pack back up and carry it on my shoulders for the rest of my life. This answer had literally never occurred to me in the many closed-loop ruminations that had commandeered my attention for months. Getting out of my habitual way of seeing things finally allowed the answer to infiltrate past my defenses.
Try TheraRuck: 3 Ways to Begin
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Feel the Weight You Carry
Grab a backpack (ruck) and fill it with a weight plate, books, canned goods, or rocks. Secure everything so it stays in place, and start with a manageable load. Head outside for a 10-15 minute walk. As you walk, notice how the weight feels on your body. Check in with yourself: What thoughts are taking up space? What emotions are you carrying? What is your energy telling you? You don't need to change anything. Just notice.
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Set Down What No Longer Serves You
Find a quiet spot to take a break from rucking. Feel your feet on the ground, take three slow, comfortable breaths, and ask yourself: "What am I carrying emotionally or energetically that I'm ready to release or was never mind to hold?" Identify one thing that feels heavy, whether it's an expectation, a worry, or someone else's responsibility. As you exhale, imagine creating space between yourself and that weight. You don't need to figure it all out today. Start by acknowledging it.
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Make Room for What Matters
Continue your ruck and use your senses to connect with the natural world around you. Find three things you can see, two things you can hear, and one thing you can physically feel. Notice how your body and energy respond when you slow down and pay attention. Then ask yourself: "What do I need more of in my life right now?" When you finish your ruck, remove your pack and write down one small action you can take this week to honor that need.
Is TheraRucking for You?
Bailey leads groups and organizations around the world. She can also work with you to create a one-on-one experience. If you're burned out, stressed out, grieving, struggling with PTSD, wanting to bond with your coworkers, or just need a breather to gain some perspective, check out her website for more information.
